Procrastination

As told by my revealing title, I'm procrastinating via my awesome blog.  Sorry for the delay my dedicated readers, I was at a wedding all weekend and I have just recovered from sleep deprivation.  Not much has changed though, Aaron is still weirder than Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" minus the cattle gun and the awesome hair.  He also has a friend apparently, I don't remember his name because I really don't care and I'm bad with names but for the sake of the story let's call him "blah-blah."  This is how 5 awkward minutes with Aaron and his friend blah-blah went down...

Mathew is sitting at his computer pretending to do homework.

Enter Aaron complete with his Avs jersey and white hair, styled with the decade late part down the middle.

A- "Hi Mat, this is my friend blah-blah" points to a young bloke decked out in Chicago White Sox attire.

M - "What's up blah-blah, nice to meet you"

B - "You too"

M - to blah-blah "So you're a Sox fan blah-blah"

B - "Yeah, I'm like Aaron, but you'll always see me in this Sox jersey"

At this point in our encounter I already do not like this blah-blah.  If I were caught on a bus sitting next to this person, he would most likely annoy the crap out of me.  Plus, if you have one clothing item in your closet that is never switched out, you automatically have been reduced to sewage in my mind.  I no longer care to find out more about blah-blah but I still push on.

M - "So blah-blah, how do you know Aaron?" (note: I feel like an over-protective father who is meeting his really hot daughter's douche-bag boyfriend for the first time)

B - "Oh Aaron and I both work at the Independent" (The Independent is the CU student newspaper)

M - "Oh so you're a writer?"

B - "Yeah, I'm in the J-school" (aka journalism school)

Now I really don't like blah-blah for two reasons.

1) He is a writer.  Why a writer? Are you depressed? Are you gay? Writing is for squares, anyone who spends their time "writing" automatically loses cool points.  Unless of course you write about sports or entertainment, politics or "the news" is a no-no.(note: blogging is NOT writing)

2) He must think I'm mentally retarded.  You don't have to tell me you're in the "j-school."  I already assumed that considering you told me you work at the independent, an organization that hires only student journalists!

Our boring conversation continues for another 4 minutes and 30 seconds.  I will give blah-blah some credit though considering I was able to have an actual conversation with him and not have it feel like... time for a lengthy metaphor...

Conversing with Aaron is like trying to jerkoff when your penis is just not up for the task.  I go through all the effort, fighting and trying different approaches, but in the end I just walk away pissed off and yelling.

... when blah-blah decides to leave, an awkward moment happens.  I learn that blah-blah lives in an apartment in the other building, probably 100 feet away.  As he leaves, Aaron leaves too saying quote, "I'll be back soon, I'm gonna take blah-blah back to his place."  WTF! What are you his boyfriend, why does he need an escort to his room? Maybe Aaron is trying to get lucky tonight, or at the very least get a kiss after an awkward moment when blah-blah fumbles for his room key before he FINALLY gets the door open and they instead say nothing to each other before parting ways to retire for the evening.  I'd rather not know what really happened but if Aaron really is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) or "I'm just a little bi-curious," Operation: Corruption of New Roommate has come across a serious roadblock.  I don't do... let's just say I'm not full mast when I'm showering in the locker room, if you catch my drift.

Well I guess I'm gonna call it a day for now, to go do homework of course.

This is Matty Willis, out!