Aaron likes hockey, a lot, if you don't know this by know then perhaps you should read the entirety of what I call "My Blog." Aaron is also very uncool, now I need a medium of which we can begin this transformation to cool. Now, what do most, if not all, hockey players have in common? Yeah, that's right, they all chew. Now since Aaron emulates hockey in most corners of his life I figured I could start to make an impression, this is how I envision it going down....
Aaron is sitting in the apartment, probably wearing an Av's jersey (let's say Hinote for the sake of the story) and playing video games, probably NHL 09. This is where I make my grand entrance sporting a nice dingo planted in the lower region of my mouth. I will then proceed to make sure Aaron notices my habit and begin to answer his approaching questions.
A: "What is... is that chewing tobacco?"
M: "Why yes it is, want one?" I then proceed to plant the chew tin right in his face.
A: "No, I don't do that stuff."
M: "Really? 'Cause you should, all hockey players do it (notice connection to characters close to him), and it's fucking cool."
Now Aaron will most likely continue to say "no" in a variety of ways but as the minutes become hours and hours become days, I will continue to sacrifice my dental health for the sake of the operation until finally one day, Aaron successfully completes step 1 of phase 1 of Operation: Corruption of New Roommate.
Note: Ladies, I know you probably think my habit is gross but realize that I'm only doing this for the sake of the operation and for no other reason. I do not at all enjoy shoving that long cut, spine-tingling minty concoction of fiberglass shards and others sweet pollutants into my lower lip.
No comments:
Post a Comment