Facebook
First off, at last check, the group had over 324,000 members. That is $3,240,000! Unless Fortune 500 CEO's are making Facebook groups, it's a scam. If you really give a shit, donate to the Red Cross yourself. Don't join a group to have some other person donate on your behalf. It's kind of like being a redshirt football player and then the team wins a national championship. Yes, technically you kind of won, but you didn't do shit to help.
Second, your Mom doesn't love you. That is a straight fact. If she needs the approval of 1 million strangers in order to get enough motivation to quit smoking, your Mom essentially cares more about those million strangers more than you, her own son. Yeah! BOOM! Right?! If said kid is reading this (which he should be, I'm going global next week), try not to freak out and kill yourself, better yet, kill your Mom because she never loved and exposed you to the world as a failure.
Whew! Venting feels good right?! There are others but I will spare them my wrath for now.
Teen Cribs
Oh, so I heard Diddy's son got a $300,000 car for his Sweet 16. Oh except he can't drive cause he doesn't have a license. But don't worry, he has his own personal chauffeur. This brings me to a subject that really bugs the shit out of me, "Teen Cribs."
Can I just say that these kids are not only spoiled as balls but also retarded. And yes I mean that word in the degrading "Shh! Don't say that in public" kind of way.
Some broad was showing off her Dad's car
- "Like this is my Dad's 1967 Cobra, it's really fast."
Wow your intelligence is mind-bottling, now take me to the pool!
- "Umm, this is the pool... it's for swimming”
Oh really that's what this is for. I thought this particular pool was for something else like hosting bible study or mass executions.
Oh and don't even get me started with the guys. It seems like no matter what race they are, they all talk like they are on BET.
- “Yo this my 09 blacked out range rover on 22’s”
Firstly, that's racist to "black out" a car or do you mean the alternate meaning of "Yo this my 09 super wasted range rover on 22's." And how do you know they are 22's? Could you please whip out a tape measure to support your preposterous hypothesis?
But I will say that the best one was the entrance into the living room where essentially the family billboard was located.
- "There! like this is my family portrait, it was done by Picasso and it costs like a bajillion dollars. What? Picasso’s dead? Oh yeah my Dad paid like 500 million dollars to dig up Picasso and bring him back to life so he could paint our beautiful family. What? That’s impossible? No my dad did it, he totally reincarnated Picasso."
You can’t spell that.
- "What? Yes I can…"
Seriously?!
"Oh yeah we uh had Picasso but he was in the 21st century and you know he is as old as Jesus so we were like Picasso man you have to go, so we shot him in the back of the head by our pool… our pool that’s for swimming."
Just ridiculous!
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